Keep it Clean

One question that prospective parents are always asking me is: At what age will a child start to pick up on their parents' profanity? Actually, no one has ever asked me this. But since you're thinking about it, let me give you the answer: eighteen months.

That's when Baby Genius started copying little sayings of Mama and Daddy. Fortunately, Daddy realized that Siena would even be more likely to repeat dirty words, which any human being can recognize by their onomatopoeic resonance, i.e., dirty words just sound dirty. So how does Daddy cope? He growls.

Not like a pit bull eyeing a mailman, mind you. Actually, it's more of a grunt, a muffled expression of frustrated rage. Of course, while this doesn't teach Siena any inappropriate language, it still upsets her; she knows perfectly well when Daddy's getting angry. In fact, the other night Daddy got so frustrated trying to swat a fly that, ever since then, Siena's gotten upset whenever she sees another "Bug!"

So what's Daddy's option? Simple: don't get mad. Don't let life's incessant, yet ultimately insignificant, frustrations get you down. Don't cry over spilled milk--and with Siena, that's no metaphor. And don't lose patience with Siena, or anything that's in her presence.

It's not as easy as it sounds. But once you stop getting mad at stupid stuff, your stress level drops overall. And if you can keep stress down while raising a toddler, you'll be a happy parent.